Self Worth: Why You’ll Never Feel Enough (Until You Stop Seeking Approval)

I often wonder why we so often place more value on what others think of us than how we think about ourselves. How is it that we believe that if someone else likes us or what we do or say, then we must be okay?

In a world where likes are a barometer for whether or not we are showing up in an acceptable way, we try to please, attract and impress as many people as we can and then live in fear that someone won’t approve or respond in the way we had hoped or expected them to.

We’ve gotten so good at dividing ourselves into smaller and smaller pieces that we end up stretched thin, pleasing no one with an empty tank. We compound things further by playing relationship politics, often pretending we are okay when we’re not, and then getting really frustrated or even angry when no one notices how we feel.

We’ve all been there, but at what point did we start to lose our ability to tap into how we factor into the equation and instead multiply the distance between who we really are and how we are showing up? Do the math it doesn’t add up.

We can’t be everything to everybody, but we can be everything to ourselves. In fact, we are the only common denominator, the prime number. Whether we feel like it or not, we are in control.

I know that it seems easier sometimes to go with the flow than to share our own thoughts or ideas or to ask for what we want or need, but I promise you, relying on others to define our worth is a zero-sum game. Never, ever, underestimate how valuable you truly are.

There are more than 7 billion people in the world, most of whom will never know you ever existed, and of the ones that do, how many really know you when you emanate from who you truly are?

It isn’t important that everyone agrees or likes what you say or do. The important thing is that it matters to you.

Everyone will not always like what you have to say, and that’s okay, and if they do, then that’s great too. Either way, you are not defined by the way that they want or expect you to be anymore.

It’ll be messy and imperfect, but it’ll be yours. Life is way too short to try and please everyone.

The best way you can contribute to the world is by showing up for yourself and by saying what you need to say, you give permission to others to do the same.

Listen to Audio Version here!

Lisa Hopkins
Certified Professional Life Coach and Energy Leadership Master Practitioner -CANADA
Lisa is an ICF Certified Professional Life Coach and Energy Leadership Master Practitioner at Wide Open Stages. She specializes in partnering with highly successful creative people who want to be challenged and inspired to become artists in all areas of their lives. A passionate creative professional herself, Lisa has over 25 years experience working in the performing arts industry as a director/choreographer, producer, writer and dance educator in NYC, nationally and internationally. She is dance faculty at Pace University NYC in the Commercial Dance and Musical Theater BFA programs, and is co-founder of New York Stage Originals, an internationally recognized theatrical production company. Lisa hosts the popular podcast STOPTIME: Live in the Moment and is founder of Wide Open Stages, where she coaches high-performing creatives in the performing arts industry.

Back to Home

Editor's Note: At StageLync, an international platform for the performing arts, we celebrate the diversity of our writers' backgrounds. We recognize and support their choice to use either American or British English in their articles, respecting their individual preferences and origins. This policy allows us to embrace a wide range of linguistic expressions, enriching our content and reflecting the global nature of our community.

🎧 Join us on the StageLync Podcast for inspiring stories from the world of performing arts! Tune in to hear from the creative minds who bring magic to life, both onstage and behind the scenes. 🎙️ 👉 Listen now!

Lisa Hopkins

Lisa is an ICF Certified Professional Life Coach and Energy Leadership Master Practitioner at Wide Open Stages. She specializes in partnering with highly successful creative people who want to be challenged and inspired to become artists in all areas of their lives. A passionate creative professional herself, Lisa has over 25 years experience working in the performing arts industry as a director/choreographer, producer, writer and dance educator in NYC, nationally and internationally. She is dance faculty at Pace University NYC in the Commercial Dance and Musical Theater BFA programs, and is co-founder of New York Stage Originals, an internationally recognized theatrical production company. Lisa hosts the popular podcast STOPTIME: Live in the Moment and is founder of Wide Open Stages, where she coaches high-performing creatives in the performing arts industry.