You know, you can’t go anywhere in the personal development or mindfulness space these days without being promised that there is some new life hack that is going to change your life, and nine times out of ten, these miracle tips are touted as being backed by science. It’s ubiquitous and, as far as I’m concerned, bordering on well disingenuous. There are no shortcuts to personal growth. There’s a reason why mindfulness is referred to as a practice.

Now, I’m all about science and data, but here’s the thing. What happens if you try one of these so-called evidence-based, science-backed tips or tricks and it doesn’t work? What does that say about you? How does that make you feel? What if it works for me or other people you know, but not for you? There may be some science around it in their studies, but you weren’t in the study. I wasn’t in the study. These things that are being positioned as life-changing are well if they work at all. Tools at best. Here’s the thing Each and every one of us are unique. What works for one may not work for the other, and that is perfectly okay. What works for you today may not work as effectively for you tomorrow, and that, too, is perfectly all right. The only tried and true stuff is the stuff that you try and the stuff that is true for you.

So I have this beautiful mosaic bowl that holds a candle. It is beautifully rounded and all the tiles of the mosaic glow when the candle is lit. It used to be my mom’s and when I was growing up I always admired it. She had it sitting in the bay window of our kitchen and I loved it. I just loved it so much. When I moved away from home she let me have it and it has gone literally everywhere with me. It has shone in every single place that I have lived since I left home. So if there is one consistent in my life, it is this beautiful, beautiful mosaic candle holder. I light it almost every day, usually in the early evening, and when I light it, mom is with me again after six years gone.

I mention this because for me, life isn’t something that needs a hack. For me, the way I live, my life is all about those little pieces and how they fit together to make a beautiful, colorful mosaic. I’m not one to memorize and save. I am more of a sponge and a squeeze. It’s more about synthesis for me soaking things in but not trying to hold onto them, experiencing them as they pass through me. Some elements are absorbed and those pieces stay with me, but they become assembled in new ways. My life is the sum of many different and beautiful shards, some rich with color, some perfectly clear, some smooth and polished, others sharp and rough. But all these pieces make me who I am today, and I will change and evolve as I add new pieces to my mosaic. For that I don’t need a hack. I simply need to be open to experience all that life has to offer.

So this big idea that there is one magical elixir or habit that is going to start a domino effect of changing our lives quite frankly is a fallacy. Not because it won’t work. It might work, but it’s not the only thing that’s going to make the difference and it certainly is not the thing that is going to change your life. You are the one who is going to make the difference. You are the only one who is going to create change in your life. Take life as it comes, Receive and acknowledge what you’ve got in each moment, Put it together and see what beauty you can create right then and there. Even when things are messy, even when things are confusing, especially when things are hard. You know, there’s an interesting thing about my mosaic bowl since the candle is too fresh and new or too strong and big, it doesn’t glow very well. It clothes best and lights up all the pieces when the candle light is low, when the candle is closer to the wick, closer to the core. So take a moment to recognize all the beautiful pieces that have become you.

Embrace where you are right now and draw from what you have and build from there. Bring the light in different parts of your candle, Continue to piece it together and something new and beautiful will be formed from little pieces you are collecting and those that are within you already.

Take your time, my friends. I do not have a quick hack for you. If you want to look in the morning in the mirror at yourself and say you go girl, then say it. But if you don’t, you’re not missing out on some secret elixir for life success. You really aren’t. You really aren’t. Create your own, Change it up, Make and populate your toolkit All the little colorful pieces fitting beautifully together to form who you are in this moment. Depending on what height your candle is burning, it’s up to you. You always burn brightly to me.

Listen to Audio Version here!

Published in Collaboration with:

Lisa Hopkins

Certified Professional Life Coach and Energy Leadership Master Practitioner -CANADA

Lisa is an ICF Certified Professional Life Coach and Energy Leadership Master Practitioner at Wide Open Stages. She specializes in partnering with highly successful creative people who want to be challenged and inspired to become artists in all areas of their lives. A passionate creative professional herself, Lisa has over 25 years experience working in the performing arts industry as a director/choreographer, producer, writer and dance educator in NYC, nationally and internationally. She is dance faculty at Pace University NYC in the Commercial Dance and Musical Theater BFA programs, and is co-founder of New York Stage Originals, an internationally recognized theatrical production company. Lisa hosts the popular podcast STOPTIME: Live in the Moment and is founder of Wide Open Stages, where she coaches high-performing creatives in the performing arts industry.